I dreamt of a huge beautiful house, I felt like I ruined it just being there...

Chapter 1
I walked around the estate and took in the beauty, not a clear beauty, something deeper, something that I saw where many others couldn’t. I made my way into the house many times only getting a room or two in before I felt like I was degrading the place just standing in its presence. But I couldn’t stay away.
One day, somewhere in this beautiful mansion I finally came upon its owner. He was a beautiful young man in his mid to late twenties. Short brown hair and brown eyes that looked deep as though they had been searching many years and knew many things. He finally spoke and when he did his voice was low and soothing, almost as if he wanted to make sure he didn’t break me.
I spoke with him a short while about his home and he spoke with fervor of a kind of love that I only saw in movies, this house was his true love. Hearing him speak that way of anything was almost heart wrenchingly beautiful and once again even stronger than before I felt like I didn’t belong. I had to leave, I turned and called over my shoulder; “I have to go, I’m sorry…” I caught a glimpse of his face contorted in confusion as he called “Are you ok? Please come back!”
The beautiful unnamed stranger almost haunted me as I left the grounds. I wasn’t sure what he meant, “Please come back!?” Did that mean now, or was it open to any time; I wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t sure if I could take him up on it either way. I dreamt of him, and the house that I was sure to never see again.
But what could I do? Stay away? I had to find out more, more about my stranger, more about the house. So I went back. I almost hid as I was taking in the beauty one more time, finding places I hadn’t been before. If it hadn’t surprised me so much it would have been a most welcome sound…
“Hello,” he said in his beautiful deep voice, “I’m so glad you decided to come back.”
I turned around in shock and I must have had a guilty look on my face because he answered my unspoken question.
“No, no, don’t worry, it’s ok, I want you here, I like people to enjoy the beauty of my house.”
I shook my head a turned away, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, it’s been in my dreams.” No need to mention the fact that he was as well.
I was staring at the splendor of a crystal chandelier as he spoke again, “So, if you are going to be coming around here a lot, may I at least ask your name?”
“Uh, sure,” surprise caught in my throat, “um, my name is Alicia.”
“Alicia, that is a beautiful name.”
“Thank you” I managed to choke out.
“Well, Alicia, I hadn’t gotten around to introducing myself last time you were here and I intend now to alter that egregious error. My name is Ryan, owner of this, the Warmwood Mansion and estate.”
I turned around to take in his face as he told me all of this. When he finished speaking he reached his hand out. I took the invitation as quickly as was politely possible and relished in the feeling of his warm skin.
“Hello Ryan,” I spoke as evenly as possible, “thank you for letting me intrude so much upon you, surely you have better things to do than talk to wandering admirers.” (And random crazy people…) I didn’t know where this came from; I’m never this articulate especially when I talk to a guy.
“No, actually, this is what I love doing, and actually you are one of a very few to share my infatuation with the place.”
He slid his long fingers through his hair and I saw something glint on his left hand in the reflection of the lighted chandelier.
*SHIT* I thought to myself. I guess I should have expected as much, a beautiful man, with a beautiful voice, and a beautiful house, of course he would be married. I must have gasped, and I know I was staring at his hand as he brought it down. First he glanced and reached for me as if to make sure I was ok, then he saw the line of my eyes down to his wedding ring.
“Oh.” Was all he said, almost crestfallen.
“Um, I have to go.” I turned as a tear began to well in my eyes.
“Please, no.” He said while reaching for my arm.
I pulled my arm away and said, “I really should be going, I have things to do…”
He began to reach for me to turn me around again but I started for the doors, doing my best not to run into anything, while tears ran down my face.

Chapter 2
It was stupid, I knew that, but somehow, I thought, or hoped that he liked me. No, more than liked me, loved me, the way I fell madly in love with his house, and him, on first sight. But, I barely knew him what kind of person falls in love so easily as that. Plus, that was impossible, he was married, she was probably beautiful and satisfied him physically and emotionally in ways I couldn’t even think of. What other kind of person would get this man to settle down; Certainly not someone like me.
So I took what I could from him, my memories of the house and him, and my dreams. That was what I lived with for weeks as I did everything I could to keep from the house on the hill, Warmwood.
I suppose it’s what I get. Every time you don’t want something to happen, somehow, that’s exactly what does happen. I never wanted to go back to the beautiful house, and its beautiful master. I never wanted to relive what happened that day. But never is a word that it seems God takes pleasure in destroying.
My destruction came by mail.
I grabbed the mail, and immediately I knew that something was different. All I ever got was bills and ads. This was a perfectly square white envelope with my name and address embossed in silver on the front; the back had an ornate design. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open it, so I put it aside and took on the bills.
Twenty minutes later, I was done with the bills and the square white envelope was screaming from on top of my little round kitchen table. Might as well open it, it won’t kill me right? Even if it did, no more bills to have to pay. I slid my finger under the edge almost unwilling to tear the beautiful envelope. I guess I should have expected. In this tiny town there was only one thing, one place, one person that deserved anything this ornate.
“Damn.” I said under my breath, unsure why, no one was around.

You’ve been invited
To attend Warmwood Mansion
For our first
Art Benefit and Auction

“Great.” I thought sarcastically as I opened the card to reveal even more ornate writing.

Ryan and Emily Buell invite you to attend an art benefit for
The lost and homeless children of the war.
Black Tie
Saturday, August 18th 7:00pm

Emily, if it hadn’t been the name of my undoing, it would have been a beautiful name.
Even if I thought that somehow I would be able to say no, it landed on my day off of work, and the theme hit closer to home than I think anyone could have ever known. I had been, I still was a lost and homeless child of the war. But I didn’t have anything black tie worthy so surely that would be enough to make me unable to go. Then I noticed extra writing at the bottom of the card that, had it not been in a glorious royal blue, would have almost perfectly matched the script of the card, but was clearly handwritten.
I read what was written aloud in surprise, “If anyone should not be capable of the expense of black tie apparel, simply bring this invitation to Madison’s Fine Suits and Dresses and they will be able to supply you with apparel free of charge.”
“I swear it’s like they made it impossible not to attend!” I huffed.
I sat for a long time thinking. I sat reading and re-reading the card trying to decide what to do with it, why was I invited in the first place. And of course, I hadn’t bothered thinking about it before, but of course, how else could a mid-twenties man own such a place. He must be rich, not just rich, but ridiculously rich.
“Crap.” How I ever thought he might even like me I’ll never know. I lived in a run down apartment, making barely enough to cover the bills at my grocery store job. He was amazing, with a beautiful house, and apparently enough money that he could waste his days enjoying the beauty of it. And hold fancy black tie affairs.
So, I thought some more. I had to attend, they give me the clothes I need for free, and they find the one benefit I can’t say no to. Not to mention the one reason I didn’t want to say out loud, I really, really wanted to see Him again.

Chapter 3
I had gone to Madison’s the morning of the event with my invitation and a hope, no matter how silly it sounds now, that they wouldn’t have anything for me because I was so late, or upon first sight, kick me out into the street. But, it was almost as if they were waiting for me to arrive. It was all rather unnecessary and slightly disconcerting. They treated me so well I felt like I should tip them (despite the fact I didn’t have the money to) and I tried, but they all refused vehemently. I left the store that day with a gorgeous backless black dress, and surprisingly to me, I felt comfortable and rather sexy in it.
Of course they knew I would need all the accessories as well, and I left with sexy four-inch sandals with tiny straps that I felt would break given the right tweak. A pair of diamond stud earrings with a matching necklace. As I left they gave me another envelope very similar to the invitation, inside this was a simple enough instruction even if it seemed impossible. “Go to Victoria’s immediately upon getting your attire.”
My mouth dropped and I stammered for a moment. I stared at the lady behind the counter; finally I spoke. “Um, Victoria’s?” was all I could get out.
The lady looked at me for a moment, and her lips turned up into a smile as she replied, “Yes ma’am, will you be needing assistance in finding it?”
I shook my head “No, it’s just…”
“We were given direct orders to make sure you get there timely and safely, so if you would allow, we have a chauffeur for you.”
I looked at her incredulously, but the smile never left her lips, and seemed genuine. I of course knew Victoria’s; it was the only respectable, and highly respectable as it was, Salon and Spa. After what already seemed like a fairytale in this store, it seemed as though this wasn’t about to end as soon as I expected.
*                    *                    *
I exited the town car that had chauffeured me to Victoria’s as the driver told me I was able to leave my things in the car, that he would be here when I finished. I was wary to leave anything with anyone, but it seemed as though I was to be given no other choice.
It was still rather early but as I had always heard it when you go into this place, you are not very quickly to leave. I once again almost hoped that this would last so long that I might just miss the event. But I should have known, someone was on top of this more than I could have ever imagined.
It felt like all of the employees in the entire salon were working on me, and all at the same time. I was buffed and waxed and made up. My hair was washed and conditioned and styled into perfection. Throughout my entire experience I had one surprising thought, in all of this that I am certainly not used to, I felt oddly comfortable, there was no movement, color, there was no piece of clothing, even the way the made up my hair; it all was elegant, and in no way stressing.
It was a miracle of time, when by 5 o’clock pm, I was perfectly plucked and pruned into beauty. They refused me a look in the mirror at the final effect, as well as refusing any of my money. I returned to my chauffeured town car, and as promised all of my things remained. Before I could even get a word in the driver told me we were heading back to my house. How he knew where I lived I didn’t know, but I’m sure the same person who sent my invitation had given everyone all the information anyone would need to know.
I carried my things up to my apartment a hung them on the door of my bathroom. The Chauffeur said he would give me an hour to get myself ready and he would be back to pick me up to take me to the house on the hill. I didn’t know why. I could walk there easy as anything and I’d been there before. It’s not like I would get lost. Then I remembered the shoes, and the dress, and the hair, and the makeup.
“Oh.” Was all I could say as I walked away from the chauffeur.
After I had hung up the dress I glanced at the clock, 5:50. I sat down on my kitchen chair. I was going to have to do something about all of this it was too much. As all that had happened that day finally sunk in, it was hard to breathe, and I realized I was hyperventilating. I sat in the chair with my head between my knees trying to slow my breathing for twenty minutes. I reminded myself that nothing was wrong, no one was dying, and this would be over in a few short hours. If I could I would walk in thank them for the invitation and high tail it as soon as humanly possible.
Then I glanced at the dress and the shoes and the jewelry. I remembered my hair and makeup. All the time and money it took to get me prepared and appropriate for this, I couldn’t run away just because I felt my heart might break. I would make it through the evening, and if I survived, I would officially never return to the beloved house or it’s owner.
I dressed and placed the earrings and necklace on. I decided to take a glance in the mirror to be sure I didn’t look too out of place in these borrowed things that I didn’t belong owning. Had I not known it was indeed a mirror I was staring in, I would have thought it was the portrait of a beautiful woman out of the Eighteen hundreds. As it was it took me a moment to take everything in.
My dress flowed beautifully around my ankles where my shoes matched perfectly on the feet of my elongated and luxurious legs. I brought my eyes back to my face, the earrings that were just big enough to glint in hypnotic beauty, and the necklace that looked gorgeous against my slightly tanned skin. My deep brown eye shadow and long dark eyelashes made my bright blue eyes pop. The coral lip color made my full lips look luscious. And finally my brown hair flowed with a slight curl in a loose up-do down to my shoulder blades framing my face perfectly.
I wasn’t sure how they did it. And even more, I wasn’t sure who to thank, the people who did it, or the people that made it possible. I had become beautiful. I must have been taking myself in for a while because when I glanced back at the clock it was 6:45. I decided that it was a wise decision to take a bit of a head start on the stairs if I intended to not break my neck in the shoes. I grabbed the small clutch that came with the dress and shoes, and walked out the door to meet my fate, good or bad.

Chapter 4
I gasped audibly as we turned up the drive to Warmwood. I didn’t know how my memory could have gotten it so wrong. It looked even more beautiful than I had ever remembered. A man waited on the short walkway to the house, where the chauffeur dropped me off, to help me out of the car and usher me into the house and all the way to the dramatic ballroom on a far wing off the main hall of the mansion.
I sighed, relieved, as we walked into the room. It was to be a silent auction. I hadn’t thought hard about it, but it had worried me that I would look very out of place, knowing I didn’t have the kind of money people would spend on this kind of art. With a silent auction nobody would have to know I couldn’t afford any of this. I had every hope of simply blending in with the walls.
It felt as though every pair of eyes currently roaming the room were on me as I entered and walked around admiring the artwork. I tried to tell myself it was all in my head, but I remembered what I looked like in the mirror. It was finally when Ryan appeared that my worst fear was realized. Not only was I right, everyone was staring at me, but Ryan looked more beautiful than I ever thought anyone had the right to.
I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment; everyone was looking at me, so everyone must have seen me staring at Ryan. I flushed even brighter when his eyes turned on me and he looked elated to see that I had come. I loved the smile that crossed his face when he looked at me, but it made me feel all the worse, he was married and I was lusting after him. I was a harlot, and I didn’t know why everyone in the room wasn’t trying to get me thrown out.
I was even more surprised when I realized he was coming toward me, so I quickly turned to pretend to look at one of the auctions. As I turned my shoes caught me off guard and I started to wobble. As quickly as I had begun to fall there were hands at my arms righting my body. Once again to my utter shame, I realized by his touch who it was that stopped me from falling and I blushed scarlet again knowing it was silly to remember his touch so easily.
He turned me around slowly and carefully. As soon as I saw his face I dropped my gaze to the floor. “Thank you,” I spoke to the floor “I’m sorry I’m just…” He stopped me. He lifted my face with his hand under my chin and said “Sorry, for almost falling? I must admit it may have put a damper on the evening but surely it wouldn’t have been your fault. People would have sorely missed your presence. You must be one of the most beautiful people in the room.”
“Not even close compared to you.” I murmured.
“At any rate, if anyone should be sorry it would be me, I’m the one that got you into those shoes. Although I will say they look gorgeous on you, I don’t think they are quite worth the risk on your life.” He finally released my right arm where he’d been holding it since he caught me from falling.
It was then that I noticed something, not something that was there, but something that was no longer there. The faint shadow of where it had been seemed like it was under a spotlight. He wasn’t above noticing any of this. “Oh, that.” He said breaking me from my reverie. He raised his left hand and flexed his fingers, where his wedding ring no longer lay.
“Another error on my behalf, it seems with you I am only capable of egregious errors.” He spoke calmly. “Before I explain, I’d like you to meet someone.” As he spoke a girl of about the age of four was leading what appeared to be a nanny that wouldn’t let her go straight to our conversation. As she came within distance Ryan turned toward her and opened his arms and she released the old woman and ran into his arms.
“Daddy, Daddy!!” the girl exclaimed as he picked her up in a loving hug.
Daddy?! The word screamed in my head as I tried to unwrap what was going on.
“Hello sweetie! How was your day?” He smiled at the girl.
“I colored, and I danced, and I played with Miss Sue!” she giggled and pointed at the nanny who clearly needed a nap.
“Sweetie, do you remember what I told you yesterday? That there was a special person coming today?”
“Yes, where is she?” She glanced around and her gaze landed on me behind her father’s back.
He turned around and as he spun I caught a glimpse of something around the girl’s neck; I didn’t need a closer look, I knew what it was. He walked back toward me with the girl in his arms. “Emily, this is Alicia, our special guest. Alicia, this is Emily, my daughter.” I looked into her eyes, the same as her fathers.
I reached my hand out to shake hers and she began to reach for me, as she did my thoughts were confirmed. His ring was now around her neck on a small silver chain. She clearly didn’t want to just shake my hand. I opened my arms for her to climb in and I easily supported her weight as she hugged me around the neck. She leaned back slightly and said “Hello Alicia, it’s nice to meet you.” I heard Ryan laugh silently across from me, but for the moment, I was entranced by Emily.
“Hello Emily, you have a beautiful name.” I said as she played with my hair and necklace.
“Well Emily, I believe it’s your bedtime. You will see Alicia again on another day.” He looked hopefully into my eyes.
She looked at me again and almost pled, “Will you come back and see me?”
“Emily, if that is what you want, I would love to.” I replied.
Ryan took Emily from my arms and put her on the floor, Emily ran to Miss Sue and started leading her out of the room again. Neither of us could take our eyes off of her. When she finally left the confines of the room he turned back to me an almost eager edge to his eyes. It was as if he was looking for approval. I smiled and said, “You have a beautiful daughter, where did you come up with her name?”
It was only after I said it that I remembered the invitation, with the name of my undoing, Emily.

Chapter 5
“Well,” Ryan began, “it was her mother’s name.”
I noticed it. “Was?” I said quietly.
“Yes, she died when Emily was one year old. She had a short, but painful battle with cancer. It spread so quickly that we couldn’t keep up with it. It took her in the night about 2 weeks after Emily’s birthday. It was hard on us both, and I was never sure how to try to explain it to Emily when she was so young.”
I hadn’t noticed but I suddenly I realized we had walked out of the ballroom and had made our way into the grand hallway.
“But Emily, she is a very wise little girl. It was like she knew what I was trying to say without even being able to say it. I had brought them here shortly after we found out about the cancer. Emily told me about this place, that she remembered it from when she was young. When we moved in it seemed as if she felt at peace. She said it was the only place she felt comfortable. I couldn’t part with the place when she left, so little Emily and I made a life here. We didn’t do much; I stayed in and kept to myself. I didn’t bother trying to make friends.”
“That’s why it surprised me when you so easily came in to look at the place. I know you don’t realize, but I watched you from the first time you took a step into the house. At first I couldn’t think of why you liked it so much. Then when you kept coming back, you reminded me of the way Emily said she felt about the place. It had a draw for you, the same as it had for her. So finally I decided to talk to you. I’d been so out of practice with real people that I didn’t even tell you who I was. Talking to you even for that short period brought back to the fervor of love for this home. But then you left so quickly, I didn’t know what I had said to make you leave like that.”
This time I stopped him, “You didn’t say anything wrong, I just… this place is so beautiful that I feel like I shouldn’t be here, that somehow I’m detracting from the beauty.”
“I wouldn’t say that, I’d say just the opposite actually. You being here made me realize just how beautiful this place was. But I didn’t realize what was happening to me. You see I married Emily when we were 21, and we had our daughter a year later. I had only two years with her. Little Emily was the only other person I had, so I kept my ring as a reminder of her. It wasn’t until almost 3 years later when you came that I had feelings for anyone.”
“And that day when you saw my ring and ran, it made me realize that I didn’t need to keep a reminder on my hand, I had one in my heart. And I knew that Emily wouldn’t want me to stay by myself just because I loved her; She would have told me that she was gone and it was stupid to waste my time wallowing. She’d want me to find a new love.”
“When you left that second time, I was sure it was going to be like the first. You would be back in a few days. I could see it in your eyes; you loved Warmwood. A few days later I gave my ring to Emily. At first she wanted to know why, but I think she saw it in my eyes. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her mother anymore. I was just finally able to love someone else as well. But you didn’t come back. Week after week, you didn’t come back, and I was sure I lost you.”
“All I knew was your first name, and that you must live within the town because you had walked here. So I sent out people to find out what they could. They found out your name, where you worked. You never went anywhere but work and home. You obviously didn’t have any family. And living in that small apartment, you didn’t have much money.”
“I racked my brain for a way to get you back into the house; to be able to talk to you again. I needed to explain. Explain that I wasn’t married I was just foolish. And to tell you that I thought I loved you.”
I gasped, it was the first sound I had made in ten minutes so it took us both off guard. I smiled and looked into his eyes. I could tell he meant what he was saying so I felt safe in telling him my secret.
“I had dreamed about you from the first day I met you. I think I fell in love the moment you spoke to me. When I saw your ring, I just thought that I was being stupid, how could a man like you not have a wife. I stayed away because I didn’t want break my own heart by wasting my time on a married man.” I sighed and stared at the floor.
He raised my face again as he had done in the ballroom and spoke, “Don’t be embarrassed, we were both operating at the time under false pretenses.” I smiled and stared into his twinkling eyes.
He continued his story, “So I came up with something I thought would get you to come, I knew you were a child during this war time and you had no family, so I thought you might be a lost child of the war. At the very worst, how could someone so young and loving not care for homeless and lost children. I decided to make it an Art benefit, because you clearly loved the house and I knew you would enjoy being able to see original artwork.”
“I set everything up. I went to all the best places in town and got to know all the best people, people not only with money but also with heart. I went the best shops and became friends with the owners. Then I sent the invitations. I knew you wouldn’t have the money or resources to get yourself anything fancy, and I wanted to treat you well before you even had to see me again, hopefully softening you up before you had to see me again.”
“I somehow knew you would be stubborn. I mean you stayed away from here when you obviously cared so much for it, just because of me. So I knew you would wait until the last second. I gave all the shops very specific directions as to how to treat you and what needed to happen to make sure you got here. I’m sorry about the Chauffeur, I just knew somehow you’d get yourself lost or stuck or hurt and I’d never see you again, I couldn’t take that chance.”
“Yesterday I told Emily about you, that you were special. I think she knows. She always does. So, I guess at this point I’ve told you everything. And I’d like to hear what you think.”
“I think,” I started, “I think, that this is a lot to handle.” He rolled his eyes but also nodded in agreement. “ But,” I continued, “I think I can’t complain when I get exactly everything I’ve been waiting for.” Ryan stared into my eyes and held my hands.
“I think this is the beginning of forever.” He said with love in his eyes.
“Forever.” I repeated.

Chapter 6
“So when should we tell Emily this sleepover is never going to end?” I said three weeks later over breakfast in the ornate mansion that was now very familiar to me.
“I don’t know, I think she may already know, last night she told me to give something to you, she told me it was very important and that I should give it to you immediately.” Ryan said in his deep, soothing voice that always caught me right in the heart.
“Well then, you should give it to me now, she wouldn’t be happy to know you kept me waiting.”
He walked across the room and opened a drawer. Before he pulled anything out he said, “She told me to make sure it was a surprise, so you need to close your eyes and hold out your hands.”
I closed my eyes and held out my hands in anticipation of little Emily’s gift. But I felt Ryan’s hands on mine as he flipped my left hand over and was placing a ring on my finger. I gasped and my eyes flew open. Ryan was on his knee holding my hand. He looked up into my eyes with love. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t have to.
“Yes, yes, a million times yes!” I lightly pulled him up to my level, wrapped my arms around him and kissed him for what seemed like forever. As we finally pulled apart, I looked into the eyes of my eternity.